Priscilla Presley in Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs
Americans
Priscilla Presley, Jerry Hall, Linda Gray and David Hasselhoff are
hamming it up as panto baddies this year — oh, yes they are! — while
Warwick Davis, Ashleigh and Pudsey and assorted soap stars try to save
the day.
They’re
just some of the big names appearing in festive shows across the
country. Here PATRICK MARMION selects his favourites . . .
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
WHERE: Manchester Opera House (0844 871 3018/atgtickets.com).
WHEN: December 5 to January 4.
STAR ATTRACTION: Priscilla Presley, Warwick Davis.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Elvis’s ex-wife Priscilla is one of two former Dallas
actresses muscling in on British panto this year. Leslie Nielsen’s
co-star in the Naked Gun movies will be seeking to secure the supremacy
of her beauty in her fairytale kingdom with the aid of a nice, shiny,
very non-organic apple for Snow White.
Priscilla
is joined on stage by actor Warwick Davis, of Life’s Too Short and Star
Wars fame, who’ll be leading out the Seven Dwarfs as Prof.
TICKETS: £10-£39.50.
CINDERELLA
WHERE: New Wimbledon Theatre (0844 871 7646/atgtickets.com).
WHEN: December 5 to January 11.
STAR ATTRACTION: Linda Gray, Tim Vine, Matthew Kelly, Wayne Sleep.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Proving that Americans can be more than just our panto
villains, Dallas star Linda Gray will be making her pantomime debut as
the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella.
She’ll
be joined by comedian and pun-meister Tim Vine as Buttons, with Matthew
Kelly and his son Matthew Rixon as the trussed-up Ugly Sisters.
Wayne Sleep appears as Cinders’ mistaken Prince Dandini alongside real-life Shetland ponies.
TICKETS: £10-£39.50.
Jerry Hall is appearing at Richmond Theatre, London
JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
WHERE: Birmingham Hippodrome (0844 338 5000/birmingham hippodrome.com).
WHEN: December 19 to January 2.
STAR ATTRACTION: Duncan James, Gary Wilmot, Chris Gascoyne and Jane McDonald.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Duncan, from boyband Blue, is our Jack in Brum this Christmas
as he trades in the prize heifer for a bag of beans.
Musical
theatre stalwart Gary Wilmot, meanwhile, pulls on the frock as Dame
Trot, Jack’s Mum, and Jane McDonald, the cruise singer and Loose Women
panellist from Wakefield, is the Enchantress. Chris Gascoyne from Corrie
plays slithery, villainous Fleshcreep, Royal Variety Show veteran
ventriloquist Paul Zerdin (he’s been in three) is Simple Simon and
EastEnder Matt Slack (he played PC Gregg Preston) clocks in as Silly
Billy. They’ll all be tossing their comedy fertiliser on the festive
beanstalk.
TICKETS: £14-£40.
DICK WHITTINGTON
WHERE: Bristol Hippodrome (0844 871 3012/atgtickets.com).
WHEN: December 6 to January 4.
STAR ATTRACTION: Ashleigh and Pudsey.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Ah yes, Dick Whittington and his . . . dog? Have no fear
though — Simon Cowell may have anointed BGT stars Ashleigh and Pudsey as
one of his favourite ever acts — but CBeebies gardener Mr Bloom (the
actor Ben Faulks) is still playing Dick and will certainly have a cat.
Ashleigh and Pudsey play Alice Fitzwarren and her faithful pooch. Plus
there’s a 3-D underwater adventure.
TICKETS: £10-£39.50
PETER PAN
David Hasselhoff as Captain Hook
WHERE: Southend Cliffs Pavilion (01702 351135/south endtheatres.org.uk).
WHEN: December 13 to January 11.
STAR ATTRACTION: David Hasselhoff, Christopher Biggins.
FESTIVE BILLING: This one is surely the transatlantic battle of the panto Titans.
In
the U.S. corner we have Baywatch legend David ‘The Hoff’ Hasselhoff,
who’ll once again be sporting Captain Hook’s sharp and shiny pirate
prosthesis.
But in the British corner we have panto colossus Christopher Biggins, making his Southend debut as Mrs Smee.
Biggins
has survived the jungle in I’m A Celebrity and he’s kept hold of his
trousers in many a West End farce, but it’s when he’s slipping into a
panto frock that he comes into his own. So watch out Hoff, if the croc
doesn’t get you, Biggins might!
TICKETS: £19.50-£35.50.
CINDERELLA
WHERE: Venue Cymru, Llandudno (01492 872000/ venuecymru.co.uk).
WHEN: December 13 to January 4.
STAR ATTRACTION: Jimmy Osmond.
FESTIVE
BILLING: His great-great-great-grandfather is buried in Wales, and now
U.S. singing star Jimmy Osmond finally makes his long-awaited debut in
Llandudno! Jimmy first came to the nation’s attention in 1972, aged
nine, with his hit single Long Haired Lover From Liverpool.
But
the years have passed and now Jimmy’s thicker in the middle and thinner
on top as Cinders’ dad Baron Hardup. Alongside Jimmy, Liverpool
comedian John Evans, a Llandudno panto regular, will once more be
popping his Buttons.
TICKETS: £14-£21.
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
WHERE: Nottingham Theatre Royal (0115 989 5555/trch.co.uk).
WHEN: December 6 to January 11.
STAR ATTRACTION: Lesley Joseph, Sam Attwater.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Birds Of A Feather star Lesley Joseph takes on Snow White’s
wicked stepmother with her endlessly ingratiating mirror on the wall.
Joining her is ex-EastEnder and Dancing On Ice contestant Sam Attwater,
who’ll be the handsome prince foiling the queen’s evil plan to keep Snow
White comatose.
TICKETS: £15-£31.50.
Linda Gray in Cinderella
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
WHERE: Richmond Theatre (0844 871 7651/atgtickets.com).
WHEN: December 5 to January 11.
STAR ATTRACTION: Jerry Hall, Chris Jarvis.
FESTIVE
BILLING: What is it about American celebrities and Snow White’s wicked
stepmother? As well as Priscilla Presley’s star turn in Manchester, here
comes leggy Jerry Hall — the 6ft ex of Sir Mick Jagger.
If
Jerry’s there to draw in the grown-ups, the little ‘uns may be more
interested in CBeebies’ presenter Chris Jarvis as Muddles. Musical
theatre starlet Aimie Atkinson will be winning the affections of the
seven lovable dwarfs.
TICKETS: £10-£39.50.
JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
WHERE: Plymouth Theatre Royal (01752 267222/theatreroyal.com).
WHEN: December 19 to January 17.
STAR ATTRACTION: Jeffrey Holland, Bobby Davro, John Challis, Chico.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Singer Chico — X Factor 2005 quarter-finalist — plays young
Jack, shimmying up and down the beanstalk to rob and slay the giant.
Chico has a history of giant-killing — he knocked Madonna off the top of
the singles chart in 2006 with It’s Chico Time.
This
could be one of the rowdiest pantos, with Bobby Davro as Simple Simon
and John Challis (Boycie form Only Fools And Horses) as the villain
Fleshcreep.
Topping
the lot is Jeffrey Holland, from TV shows Hi-de-Hi! and Oh, Doctor
Beeching! who will be pulling on the panto dame’s boulder holder for the
43rd time. The traditional giant Blunderbore, however, will take the
form of 3-D special effects.
TICKETS: £8.20-£33.20.
CINDERELLA
WHERE: Southampton, The Mayflower Theatre (02380 711811/mayflower.org.uk).
WHEN: December 13 to January 4.
STAR ATTRACTION: Brian Conley, Gok Wan.
FESTIVE
BILLING: It’s a marriage made in panto heaven: comedian Brian Conley
paired with fashionista Gok Wan as what else but the Fairy Gok-mother.
Last
year, Conley flew over the heads of his audience in The Caribbean
Pirates, but this year he’s come down to earth as Buttons. Gok,
meanwhile, will be advising The Ugly Sisters on how to deal with their
panto ‘bangers’ and ‘how to look good naked’. But his best advice will
surely be kept for his on-stage girlfriend, actress/singer Kathryn
Rooney, as Cinders.
TICKETS: £15-£37.50.
SNOW WHITE
WHERE: Sunderland Empire (0844 871 3022/atgtickets.com).
WHEN: December 12 to January 4.
STAR ATTRACTION: Su Pollard, Matt Lapinskas.
FESTIVE
BILLING: It seems a bit harsh on Su Pollard, casting her as Snow
White’s wicked stepmother. She always seemed quite nice! And she’s not
even American. But with Jerry Hall and Priscilla Presley playing the
same part in Richmond and Manchester, Su’s likely to be at the more
lovable end of the step-daughter-poisoning spectrum.
She’s
joined by ex-EastEnders’ heartthrob Matt Lapinskas (he played Anthony
Moon and competed in Dancing On Ice last year) and CBeebies’ star Andrew
Agnew, PC Plum in Balamory. And in this north-eastern neck of the
woods, there’s a team of dwarfs who are liable to be singing ‘Why aye,
why aye, it’s off to work we go...’
TICKETS: £10-£29.50.
CINDERELLA
WHERE: Wolverhampton Grand Theatre (01902 429212/grand theatre.co.uk).
WHEN: December 6 to January 18.
STAR ATTRACTION: Julian Clary, Joe Tracini, Niki Evans.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Julian has practically copyrighted the role of Cinderella’s
Dandini since doing it on ITV back in 2001. He’s one of the most
sought-after panto performers in all the land. Here he comes again
sprinkling his tart innuendo over proceedings along with his usual
sugar-sweet stardust.
He
shares the stage with Joe Pasquale’s son Joe Tracini from Hollyoaks,
and former X Factor finalist Niki Evans as the Fairy Godmother.
TICKETS: £23-£27.50.
OLD MOTHER GOOSE
WHERE: York Theatre Royal (01904 623568/yorktheatreroyal.co.uk).
WHEN: December 11 to January 31.
STAR ATTRACTION: Berwick Kaler, David Leonard, Suzy Cooper.
FESTIVE
BILLING: Yorkshire wouldn’t be the same without local panto giant
Berwick Kaler — and, come to that, neither would Christmas. Berwick’s
been running and starring in traditional, non-celebrity pantos at the
Theatre Royal for 36 years.
This
year he’s playing Mother Goose and while he may be as subtle as a
Russian shot-putter, booming Berwick has his work cut out if he’s to
overcome the evil fairy played by David Leonard, who recently appeared
as ferocious Mrs Trunchbull in the West End’s Matilda.
With
Martin Barrass as Mother Goose’s son in his 29th panto and actress Suzy
Cooper (Casualty, The Bill, Doctors) as ‘her’ daughter in her 20th,
there’s more festive pedigree here than in a Christmas Cruft’s show!
TICKETS: £11-£28.50.
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