Lord Sugar gets it wrong hiring Wright. The old fashioned virtues of tights lose out to the internet in the final of The Apprentice By JIM SHELLEY

 

It was a bad night for fans of Bianca Miller, lovers of luxury tights, and any viewers of The Apprentice who thought the point of the programme was to create a new British business that produced something imaginative and original.

Those of us who’d watched the series believing the winner would be the candidate who impressed most during the 10 tasks, or even only the final, realised they’d been naive, or duped.

Lord Sugar’s decision over who he was going into partnership with was based on money; his money. He was investing £250, 000, so all he cared about was a) making his money back, and b) making some more. 

The wrong winner? Mark Wright won Sunday night's The Apprentice final against Bianca Miller

It was obvious really that this would be his criterion. How could it not be? How stupid were we for thinking The Apprentice was about anything else, such as their performances as Project Manager?

That doesn’t mean that this is right or that Sugar didn’t get it wrong. For once, he found himself in the unusual position of having to choose between two candidates whose business plans might actually make money. 

This sounds like a fairly basic requirement on this show and considering who was in charge. But it still included contestants like Katie who had entered with the ingenious aim of trying to convince Lord Sugar he should invest £250,000 in her brainwave of opening a restaurant in Sunderland. It wasn’t even a KFC. The prospect of profit was the only thing the two ‘entrepreneurs’ in the final had in common though. 

Al about the money? Could it be that Lord Sugar’s decision over who he was going into partnership with was based on money

The real winner? Bianca was the aloof, ultra-implacable, businesswoman from Croydon with a big idea

It was Bianca Miller versus Mark Wright (not that one). The aloof, ultra-implacable, businesswoman from Croydon against the garrulous, gregarious, Aussie. Old-fashioned tights against ‘something on the internet.’ 

The concept behind True Skin, the range of tights Bianca wanted to launch, was universally regarded as impressively innovative - both practical and radical, even ‘revolutionary’ (the Che Guevara of tights). It was difficult to describe the product Mark was offering, or incredibly easy - because there wasn’t one.

Even after an hour watching Mark branding, advertising, and pitching his company Climb Online, the point of it or how it worked wasn’t really clear. Blogs and ‘coders’ were involved, along with ‘writing content’ – always a giveaway of something bogus, or based on what the Americans call ‘BS’. 

Convincing the armies: Bianca's idea was universally regarded as impressively innovative - both practical and radical, even ‘revolutionary’

Sure enough, he called it ‘a digital online marketing agency.’ It looked like yet another telesales company contriving ways to manipulate their clients’ business position on Google. Not something we really needed. Luxury tights on the other hand (or leg), offering the novel bonus of more skin tones and a high quality, um, denier… Who doesn’t like those? ‘We’ve all been there, searching the shops for the perfect nude tights,’ as Bianca said Compared to Mark’s nebulous, spurious, project and smarmy charm, the choice seemed like a no-brainer.

Bianca was a strong, modern, striking, intelligent, ambitious, woman, and had created a product people needed – perfect for representing Lord Sugar’s ethos and the purpose of The Apprentice. The only way Bianca could ruin it was massively over-complicate things and price her tights too highly. 

So, inevitably, that’s what she did, ignoring everyone’s advice and marketing herself as ‘high end.’ Admittedly Bianca’s high end was very appealing but it was prohibitively expensive. ‘It’s a numbers game,’ Nick Hewer stated simply. ‘The first rule of business is to listen to what the market says.’ 

Out to impress: Bianca fell down at the first hurdle when Nick Hewer pointed out that it's a numbers game

Here are 5 more lessons Bianca’s defeat and Mark’s triumph taught us.  

1. FAILURE TO PREPARE IS TO PREPARE FOR FAILURE 

Incredibly, Mark and Bianca had entered The Apprentice and written a business proposal aimed at securing £250, 000 without having thought of a name for their company. Bianca’s surprise second choice Felipe paid dividends when he came up with the name ‘True Skin’ for Bianca’s tights - her range of tights that is, not the ones she was wearing. Mark sensibly rejected Solomon’s suggestion Sponge Digital, opting for Climb Online, a theme he certainly picked up and ran with it – or climbed with it. Mark’s advert showed a builder, a mechanic, and a dentist advocating Climb Online’s services while clinging to (possibly stranded up) an indoor climbing wall. Surprisingly, none of the ‘industry experts’ pointed out it looked as if the business he was pitching was a sports centre.

Out to impress: Mark had all of the talk when he was giving the presentation about his idea

  

2. IF YOU WANT A JOB DOING PROPERLY, DO IT YOURSELF 

‘There is a hell of a lot to do, so you’ll be pleased to know I’ve arranged some help,’ Lord Sugar told Mark and Bianca. The problem was that this came in the form of the other candidates – or, as some people call them, the losers. Bianca won the toss and recruited Katie, Felipe, Lauren, and Daniel,who seemed fine about not winning the £250, 000 as long as he could tell himself victory for Bianca meant ‘I’ve still got a chance of beating Mark.’ His idea for the name of Bianca’s brand was… ‘Bianca Miller’ - particularly with the international market in mind. 

‘YSL sounds amazing to us,’ he explained eagerly. ‘But if you go to France, Yves Saint Laurent sounds like Alan Smith.’ Not really.Mark predictably selected the all all-male crew of Solomon, Sanjay, James and Paul O’Grady’s latest version of Lily Savage, Sarah Dale. ‘Welcome aboard, we need some beauty!’ Mark greeted her, openly insulting her credentials as a businesswoman. The other Apprentices had less input than usual. Meddling or messing things up for the ambition-crazed team finalists were sadly lacking. Bianca was so single-minded about her product she didn’t need or want any help. ‘You can stay if you want to view the ad,’ she told her teammates. ‘But I don’t want lots of opinions. If you want to go home, I don’t mind.’ On Mark’s team, even James didn’t contribute much – probably because he didn’t understand what ‘digital marketing’ was either. 

Do it yourself: The candidates had to have secured some strong relationships with their fellow candidates

3. DON’T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH – OR THE GUSSET

Lauren and Sarah both told Bianca £35 for tights was too much. Felipe knew they were expensive too, although it’s best not to speculate how. A woman from Wolford commended True Skin’s ground-breaking colour range but advised Bianca their best-selling ‘premium brand’ only cost £20-£25 which also had special features. ‘Twice the gusset !’ gasped Lauren. ‘Twice the comfort,’ commented Katie.Basically, Bianca had invented the world’s most expensive tights. Bianca sensibly lowered her ‘price point’ (or as some of us call it,her ‘price’) to £22. But she was determined that True Skin’s tights would come in 15 different shades, 4 sizes, 2 thicknesses, in both gloss and matt. This was a lot of products to manufacture and sell. How many wasn’t clearly. Estimates of the entire range varied from 240 to 720. Either way, it was too many.The point made by Karren Brady was even more damning. ‘Why didn’t you go for the mass market, Bianca?’ she asked, clearly meaning: ‘IT’S ALAN SUGAR YOU DUMMY! HE DON’T DO HIGH END!’

Too high end? Bianca's tights ending up costing too much, though she didn't hear Felipe's concerns

4. MARK WAS ALL TALK – AND COUGHING 

Recognising his company would be operating in a horribly over-subscribed market, Mark had come up with a Unique Selling Point based totally on a tip from a mechanic, who had advised Sanjay it should stand out. ‘We’re different’, Mark insisted, claiming Climb Online would offer ‘a personal service’, assigning clients ‘an account manager’ and ‘a consultant’ who would make as many as two visits a month. ‘I want that mechanic to think he’s got his own marketing department. He has an idea. I make it happen.’

For £3000 a month, it struck you that Wright should be the one having the ideas. ‘It’s a bespoke tailor-made business,’ he bragged in his speech,seemingly unaware that they meant the same thing. In the boardroom though, when Lord Sugar wondered who was actually going to do the work, Mark said he would ‘outsource’ it to other companies. ‘Are you talking about a lot of torn-jean wearing, open-collared, hooligans sitting by their computers all day?’ Sugar asked, not exactly enamored. ‘That’s them !’ Mark cheered, gamely.So much for a personal service or something different…

All talk? Mark convinced Lord Sugar that he had a unique selling point for his brand of SEO 

5. IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS 

In the immortal words of one candidate on The Apprentice, choosing between Mark and Bianca wasn’t ‘rocket surgery.’ Whereas Bianca was such a control freak, she over-saw every detail of the packaging and promotion, Mark was delighted to discover Sanjay had edited the whole advert for him. Mark then delegated the ‘corporate entertainment’ before his pitch to the biggest buffoons on the show, James and Solomon, who inexplicably decided to don skintight orange latex masks and bodysuits, making ‘climbing’ motions, like mime artists in Covent Garden.

The show that Bianca staged was impressively professional – and happened to consist of three leggy superfoxes strutting about in high heels and tights (and leotards). Equally, Bianca’s pitch was fantastically clear and incisive compared to Mark’s rambling monotone, which once again was blighted by the irritating mannerism of clearing his throat. His ideas were exactly dynamic. ‘I’d like to make the analogy, if you’ve got the best good at the best prices on the prices you’re not going to do very well if you haven’t got a front door. Let me be your front door,’ he droned oafishly. Even though Mark’s field was the internet rather than old-fashioned tights, his concept was ridiculously dated.

One industry expert said he recognized the merits of the service Wright was offering because he had made the same pitch six years ago. Even though Mark was trading heavily on his experience, when the man mentioned his agency 4Ps had just been voted the UK number one, Mark laughed: ‘I personally have never heard of you.’ The quality of Bianca’s pitch, promo video, her corporate entertainment, and above all her product were all superior to Mark’s. ‘Bianca will go and spend some money,’ Lord Sugar pointed out. ‘But then I’ve got a bunch of tights, some inventory I can put my hands on. Something that, if I had to, I could end up like some 1940s seller flogging them on Oxford Street.’ ‘She’s got a great concept,’ Nick Hewer chipped in. ‘I think it’s a goer. You are a product man, you always have been. If you ramp up production and drop the price, you’ll make a fortune. You’ve done it time and time again.’

The man to impress: Lord Sugar was present at both presentations to the industry experts

Mark, on the other hand, was going to start spending his money on manpower to try generating sales. ‘Where’s the money?’ demanded Sugar. ‘Money will come in immediately,’ argued Mark. ‘We go round to businesses and say ‘would you like to be higher up the pecking order?’ Eventually someone will say ‘yes. We’d like to be higher up thepecking order.’

It didn’t sound very scientific – not for £250, 000.‘What you’re getting is an exceptional individual,’ Karren Brady purred with surprising lack of female solidarity. ‘Mark’s USP is himself. I have seen him manage a team really well.’ In fact, the only time Wright had managed a team Mark had lied to his colleagues in order to be the project manager in New York and lost. Brady stressed that, compared to the complications of manufacturing Bianca’s hosiery range, ‘all Mark needs to start his business is a telephone.’ 

Her praise inadvertently summed up why Wright shouldn’t have got the nod - or in this case the finger, as it were. He was not an entrepreneur, just a sales manager. And starting abusiness with a telephone was not such a positive when it only ended boosting other companies’ profiles on the internet rather than generating orders for an actual product. In the end, Sugar said he’d elected to go for ‘the service industry’, although Climb Online wasn’t going to provide as much of a public service – or jobs – as Bianca’s tights.What he meant was he had gone for the money, which shouldn’t have beenthe issue.True, it was Lord Sugar’s quarter of a million but our TV licence money does pay for the show. Bianca offered the public something more. As unlikely as it sounded, Lord Sugar getting into tights would have been more desirable and would have made him a better man.

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All talk: Karen Brady assured Lord Sugar that Mark Wright was the right man because all he needed was a telephone to start a business