Popular US blogger Necole Bitchie has quit blogging after 7 years of
doing it. She took to her website yesterday to announce the sad news.
What she wrote below...
"This is probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do…And I
will cry after I write this. I’m am very sadden to announce that today
is my last day as a
‘celebrity gossip blogger.’ It’s also my last day running the site as
you know it, NecoleBitchie.com.
Back in 2008, while people were celebrating the New Year with their
loved ones, I was on the phone with my good friend Lamar (most of you
know him as ‘Blogxilla’) and I told him my plans for growing the traffic
on this tiny blog I had just started. I researched HTML codes for hours
in an attempt to create a readable layout with red, black and white
colors, and he offered to help me with a header image. Although I was
living with my aunt at the time, I was somewhat homeless and reminded
every day that if I didn’t get a real job soon, I’d have to find
somewhere else to go.
Over the next six months, I found myself hopping
from couch to couch as I moved to Atlanta, and worked hard to grow my
following. My friend Lauren tells the story of one day waking up to me
laying on her floor with my head resting on my computer. I had fell
asleep while blogging!!!!! And that was the reality of my life at the
time, I couldn’t really afford to log off my computer, unless it was to
attend an event. I refused to send out any more resumes and work at a
job I hated. Plan B? Forget about it, this was my only option, and I
had to make it work.
My breakthrough finally came when Munson Steed of Rolling Out invited
me to speak on the Female Success Factor tour, alongside Chilli. It was
my first public speaking engagement and I cried as I told the story of
how losing my parents, moving to New York to pursue a job in
entertainment, and feeling a since of failure after I was forced to move
back to the hometown I grew up in with no money to my name, inspired me
to launch my own website. I was tired of sending out resumes and
looking for a job — so I had created one.
Although I was still broke and living on couches, the perception was
that my site was huge, was enough for those young women to find
inspiration in my story. I found power in that. I also realized that
speaking to young women gave me more fulfillment then those blogs I was
posting every day.
But still, I kept posting. I had a vision of how big my site could
be…but what I didn’t know was that God’s plan for me was bigger than my
vision. Over the next seven years, I won awards, was featured in
magazines that I grew up on, including Ebony and Cosmopolitan, I was on
TV, I went on tour with a pop star (Hi Rihanna!), was offered television
shows and acting roles (most of which I questioned if I deserved), and I
was able to upgrade from those couches I was sleeping on to my own bed.
And the best part of it all was that it happened to a small town
girl, who’s vision was greater than the amount of money she had to make
it happen. Won’t he do it!
If I could do it, anyone can!
Despite all of those things, I continued to notice that I was
experiencing more fulfillment and success from women coming to me on the
street and saying, ‘Your story inspires me so much!!’ than I did the
‘you got all the tea, I love your celebrity blog!!!’ I was getting more
fulfillment out of speaking engagements, panels and inspirational
interviews than I was flying to a luxurious location, given freebies and
standing next to someone famous. I began measuring my success not by
the amount of people who read my blog, or the money I made, but by the
number of people I was able to touch, motivate and inspire.
I also started to realize what purpose was – and I knew to be happy, I
had to start living a purpose-driven life. I had to start thinking
about what I wanted my legacy to be, and what steps I’d have to take to
start living in it.
I think about how I want to be remembered all the time and one thing I
know for sure is that I never wanted to be known for being JUST ‘a
celebrity gossip blogger.’
I’ve asked myself time and time again –
When all is said and
done, what will people say about you? How are you elevating your
audience? What are you doing to contribute to your culture in a positive
way? Are you doing a good job of pushing the culture forward? How are
you touching people and changing their lives?
The fact that I can’t answer that right now is problematic for me. I
always felt that no matter how much positivity we promoted on the site,
the salacious stories were always going to overshadow them. The
‘Bitchie’ in the website name was always going to be counterproductive
to the mission I had of being a source of inspiration, and launching a
platform for women to tell their stories.
There is a constant internal struggle between being a character
–Necole Bitchie—when I walk out in public, and being the women I know I
was meant to be. Eventually, I began feeling like I wasn’t doing enough
and I would never reach my goals. I felt stuck! I felt boxed in! No
matter how much success people thought I had, or how many pageviews our
stories generated, I felt as though I was regressing. There was also a
constant struggle of what I thought my audience wanted to see (salacious
tea), and what I wanted to post (Inspirational women interest
stories.’) I was so exhausted from fighting that battle, that I
literally felt defeated and I mentally gave up.
Over the last few years, people have sent me emails and asked, ‘Why don’t you post on your
personal blog
site anymore, that’s where I receive my inspiration.’ Honestly, it
was hard for me to be a source of inspiration when I’m enslaved in my
own struggle. I had to go back to fixing me first.
The other day, I read an article in the Harvard Business Review titled, ‘
Stop Worrying About How Much You Matter‘
and I had to wonder if my refusal to throw in the towel was because I
was afraid of irrelevancy. Most people go through a stage where they
fear that people won’t care anymore — but that wasn’t really my issue.
Honestly, if I’m not relevant for the right reasons, I’d rather not be
relevant at all.
I realized it was taking me awhile to get the guts to walk away and
pursue my true life passion because 1) I felt as though I was being
ungrateful to walk away from what has proven to be successful and 2) I
began living my life in fear.
That fear was not just because I was scared to fail – but I was also scared of how great I really could be.
To many people are not living their dreams because of fear. I DO NOT want to become one of those people.
I had to destroy it, before it destroyed me.
For seven years, I’ve given this platform everything in me. Now, it’s
time to refocus that energy into something that I truly believe in.
I hope that one day my story will inspire young women across the
globe to pursue their heart’s desires, but I also want them to know that
when their passion turns into a project, and it’s no longer fun
anymore, that it’s okay to move on. It’s okay to evolve, and it’s
definitely okay to reinvent. My favorite quote by Steve Harvey is ‘You
have to give up something to get something.’ He always tells the story
that after he gave up stand up comedy, he was given his own TV show,
became an Emmy-nominated host on Family Feud, released books which were
turned into movies and the list goes on. He now uses his gifts to grow a
brand focused on empowerment and inspiration.
Standing at the top of a mountain, feeling accomplished and at the
top of your game is cool, but in order to climb another mountain and
start a new journey, you eventually have to climb down. And you’ll
never know how great you can be until you take that risk.
I would like to thank everyone for your
continuous support over the years. It’s so hard to grow an audience on
the web and I don’t take anything for granted. It means so much to me.
I’d especially like to thank the writers who contributed to this site
over the years (D. Joseph, Soraya Joseph, Erika Marie, Dwayne Yates, Tai
Gooden, Kimmy Cason) , my videographers (Patrick Neree, Uniiqe and HD)
and my friends who served as correspondents (Lauren Turner and Fallon
Mercedes) for being amazing and assisting me in keeping this site
running over the years. Also my sister Ma-Shyrra who learned how to sell
ads and managed my social media when I was burned out. And I can’t
forget my amazing publicist Christina Rice who has become an incredible
friend and helped me get my story out there.
Lastly, thank you Bevy Smith. Last year, I attended her ‘Life With
Vision’ event in New York City as a guest and her story of leaving her
full-time job and six figure salary as a rockstar sales exec at a
well-known publication to pursue her dreams of one day being on
television (even when no one believed in her) really inspired me. I
remember she brought me to the front of the room, to share my story of
success with the attendees and I just stood there and cried while
telling them that I knew it was time to move on. That the number 7
meant completion. It has taken me almost a year, but I’m doing it. That
event changed me.
Also a word about my grandmother: I used to sit and always wonder
how she would feel about me and what I’ve accomplished if she was still
alive. She passed away when I was 15, was the only entrepreneur I knew
at the time, and she continued to stress education and business
ownership to me. I am at peace today knowing that she would be smiling
at me right now and be cheering me on as I step into the next part of my
journey.
Although it is the end of Necole Bitchie – it’s not the end of my
life journey. I’ve only scratched the surface of my true potential.
As I transition into my next chapter over the next few months, and
hopefully launch something new and positive, I can only hope for your
continued support.
It’s not a ‘good bye!’ per say. It’s a ‘See you soon!’
-Necole
